one.

you're not fooling anyone
with that selfish glance
and cleverly timed correspondence of
one-word-beliefs
you can't even imagine the possibilities
because you have made it so there is no longer any
one-timed-efforts
they have all been cycled and recycled
striving to remain pure
or hopeful
or whatever you call it now
you are losing a unattended battle
with your constant denial
and a consistently distracted effort at a
one-day-to-day
forward thinking rationale

but hey. just be sure to stay true to that life motto of apathy that you have there.
that's going to work out really well for you in the future.
one can only stick around for so long,
before they start to figure you out.

collection.

open me up. 

and keep me wanting nothing else

           but your heartwarming rejection.

miscommunication is key today

           just as it was yesterday.

and a couple of years ago too.

spinning circles can't even do it justice anymore.

just like that rubber band ball on your dresser.

           i am a layer on top of a layer 

of putting things to the side

or off to another day.

but i'm all bundled up now.

growing into something larger than you ever thought would come

of a simple

           ball of elastic.

so dedicated now.

unable to throw even the smallest possibilities away.

           i am now a glorified paperweight.

a decorative glorified paperweight.

held in the corner of your room until one day…

one day.

you just might need
           a lot of fucking rubber bands.

damn.

every step forward, i choose to walk alone.
making my own adventure, i plan the trail down to each degree on the compass.
there is no need for a map.
i know exactly where i will always end up.
every step forward, i am aware.

of myself.

until something stops me in my tracks.
a spot of deep blue hidden amongst the fading greens.
it's electric. it's stunning. my forward thinking fades.
pushing the branches back is harder than i think as i begin to explore the unmanned trail.
the unbeaten path fights against me. i am torn, but not willing to go back.
every step forward is a mystery, still alone.
allowing the sparkling new color to tempt me forward, no longer my own adventure.
there is a unspoken need to move deeper.

and then i finally reach it.

a blue lagoon.

it is cold and inviting. a place to rest and rehydrate just when i needed it most.
this is against my rules but i can't wait to jump in.
not taking the time to think i see that
my reflection is mirrored in the deep undertones of the cool, calm, and collected water.
i have yet to see the rocks hidden beneath.
i slowly undress, careful to keep all of my things together.
i am so weary, i think not of the depth.
i selfishly make the plunge quick and unconsciously.
relief is instantaneously. as well as the pain.
the shock of the bottom hits.
my legs fall from under me.
broken and bleeding.

i am still alone. but this time unable to move forward.

one and a two and a.

two heads, worlds apart.
a mountain once separated them but
twists of wires and flashes of screens pulls them closer and closer.
without them even knowing it.
they are living the same lives, forever connected and wandering with type and adds, clicks and springs.
two independent hearts, heartbeats apart.
a room separated them but
pixels and long range missiles forces them face to face.
with both of them knowing it.
they are keeping the same smiles, constantly trying to regain it all over one with bams and booms, strikes and tears.
and then...
a back to back glance causes them to touch,
for the first time in years.
the alarms are set, thousands of souls come in to mingle.
a finger is placed on the button
just in case.
1,006,489 followers now.
24,222,903 followers now.
74,333,000 followers now.
it starts.