culture shock.

i was listening to every word you said.

i felt the emotion when you described your stories

with clever description.

i even held your hand over and over.

grip for grip.

clasp for clasp.

but i couldn't take my eyes off of your eyes.

a stunning sight.

you were saying something on top of everything else.

a layer without a layer

of doubt.

now i still squint when i look at you.

because i haven't quite learned the language of your eyes.

but trust me.

with time i will...

be here for you.

help you.

and guide you.

cattail.

come to me. like a cattail in the night.

pushing, pulling to fight in the wind.

"fight them off," he said.

"stay strong," he said.

well.

i am easily bendable and not quite mendable so

you can't take me to your mom's.

i'm sorry.

one hundred times wouldn't even be enough,

under my breath, 

to tell you when i think about you.

is obsession love? or is

love an obsession. either way,

you have not left my mind, my heart, or my dreams.

in past, present, and future 

motion.

come to me and keep me.

please.

a word to the bush administration.

what can i do?

i am facing democracy

under siege of monopoly.

blackwater.

blackwater down.

crying is more suffocating in my dreams.

today. of all days.

i feel compelled.

just to tell you that you are not off of my mind. 

or my heart. 

i cry over you even in my dreams. and it hurts.

and i miss every day that i live without you here with me.

still.

you continue to be the one that i strive for.

and the one that i love.

if only i could change the world.

or change time...like those kids on LOST.

maybe i wouldn't be so lost,

without you.

and i am sorry.